A SPIRITUALITY FOR
CAREGIVERS: a Crucial Need
by
Richard L. Morgan
We have become a nation of caregivers for older people. As former first lady Roslyn Carter
There are only four kinds of people in the world:
those who have been caregivers,
More than half of people over age 65 are caregivers, and 92% are women.
Caregiving is difficult work, and extremely
demanding. Caregivers often feel isolated, find themselves in a thankless
task, and feel no one really cares about them.. as Henri Nouwen said,
Caring for those for whom there is no cure is the hardest task of
all.
It seems to me that most of the attention given to caregivers today falls
into two categories: Either devising
strategies of care or documenting the stress experienced by primary caregivers.
What seems to be lacking is how caregivers take care of their spiritual
needs.
Parker Palmer has said it well: Self
care is never a selfish act- it is simply good stewardship
How can caregivers find the spiritual resources for the awesome task of
caring for others?
Remember you only bear burdens WITH others, not FOR them.
Repeat this maxim to yourself: MY BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH
Extricate yourself from the dance between anger and guilt. When you feel resentful
for the demands on your life, take time for yourself, and don't feel guilty
about it
Discipline your life to
find a quiet place somewhere. Spend time there in quiet reflection, spiritual
reading and prayer.
Since you are having to be such a "Martha"
person to someone, be a "Mary" person for yourself, and
take time for meditation.
Recently, while recovering from surgery I found a quiet place
of meditation on "The Back Porch," and as I am once again involved in caring
for older persons in the church, that "Back Porch" renews my soul.
Caring for others can be a "blessing in disguise," especially
if it makes us confront the realities of life, prioritize what is important,
and listen to the silence of our hearts.
Above all, remember God, the Caregiver, is always there... to give rest for our
souls.
About
the author: Richard Morgan is Editor
of AGEnda, a quarterly newsletter of the Office on Older Adult Ministry,
PC(USA). He lives in Morganton, North
Carolina with wife Alice Ann. Dick
is author of seven books published by Upper Room on issues of aging, is and
OAM Advocate in the Synod of the Mid-Atlantic, and is a sought-after speaker
and workshop leader. You can contact
Dick at rmorgan@hci.net or at 828/437-4097.