Well-Connected: Caring Across the Miles Taken from The Commonhealth Compass, Winter, 2003 edition

Imagine that you live 800 miles away from your elderly mother. You call her every couple of days to check in. Today, you have tried three different times and there is no answer. Is something wrong? You worry ... you're so far away. How can you give your mother the attention she needs?

The word caregiving often conjures up the idea of a family taking care of a loved one at home. However, more than half of adult children in the United States live at least one hundred miles from their elderly parents. Nearly, seven million Americans provide or manage care for someone age 55 or older who live at least an hour away. While this can be difficult, stressful and time-consuming - it is not impossible. There are many excellent resources available to help. Whether you live close to or far from the older person you care for, here are some things to consider:

• Express your concernswith your elderly family member or friend in a sensitive manner. Keep in mind that while their safety and security is of the utmost importance to you, independence may be just as important to them.
• Analyze the situation thoroughly. You many need to include a medical and/or mental assessment by a professional.
• Set up a regular time to call or visit your loved one, if possible.
• The stress and demands of caregiving can take their toll. Remember to take care of you!
• Determine what formal and informal resources are available locally. Don't forget neighbors, relatives and friends who can help keep you informed.
• Keep a notebook to help you keep track of caregiving information such as local services, legal, financial information and medical information, phone numbers of nearby friends and family, travel information, etc.
• Develop a care plan. Involve the person you are caring for, family members and health care team. Be prepared to make adjustments as needed.

The Compass is a quarterly publication provided to participants enrolled in State or Local Choice health benefit plans by Continental Health Promotion, Inc. 1108 East Main Street, Suite 600, Richmond, VA 23219; 804-780-0078; Copyright 2002.